Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We smell like vodka and hangover
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