Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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