you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
