billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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