She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
