He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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