He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
