Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
