If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
