I'm sorry my penis didn't work
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
