You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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