I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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