Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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