Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
