scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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