I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
