What a fucking waste of an outfit
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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