go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
