She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
