Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
