Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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