Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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