I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
