I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Let's get the cat blown out
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
