Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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