i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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