I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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