Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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