She said her name was "party"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
