jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
