Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
