I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize