The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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