naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
