He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i believe in u and ur pee
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
