I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
