"it" just moved
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
