I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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