i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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