I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
