This girl is more easily done than said...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
