We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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