ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's rum buckets o'clock
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
