if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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