have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
