The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
