so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
