I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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