lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
