Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
