Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
