i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
