Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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